Having A House Par-tay

Black people love having a house party.  A house party can happen at any time.  All you need is three black people, a Friday or Saturday night, papercups, and a “taste”. 

Here’s how it goes.  Let’s say you work all week and stop by your friend’s house and then another friend stops by.  Voila, you got the beginnings of the making of a par-tay.  Black people like to have a ”taste”.  This is an ole school word, but that’s okay. If you black, you know what I mean.  Even though black people like a taste they never actually bring one with them.  As a matter of fact, what you have on hand is their “favorite” taste. If you don’t, then everybody has to count their change  and try to come up with enough for a fifth - no, I mean a pint.  There’s always somebody got a crumbled dollar or two and there’s always somebody with only 97 cents.  They never have a whole dollar, its always 53 cents or 42 cents.  When they borrow its always odd amounts.  They never ask to borrow a whole dollar.  Naw, that’s because they think you won’t notice they are nickle and diming you to death and hoping they don’t have to pay back. 

Anyways, back to the party.   Now you need a chaser.  Is there kool-aid in the house?  Does a bear shit in the woods?  Find some chips, turn on the boombox, and voila, a party.  Black people don’t have to have a house party in the house.  It can be on the stoop, in a car, or on the roof.

Now if there is a planned house par-tay, then there is more pre-planning involved.  This means the host or hostess know what they want to serve, but they’re waiting for you to show up so they can hit you up for the money and send you to the store for it.  Back in the day, food would consist of potato chips, maybe some pretzels, chicken wings (49 cents a pound!), collards, and potato salad.   Usually it is too hot in the house.  Back in the day, it was hot because nobody had air-conditioning.  Now, it is because nobody can afford air-conditioning, and besides your daddy ain’t gonna allow you to turn on the air because he ain’t married to the ‘lectric company.  It don’t matter because black people draw heat and sweat a lot anyway.  Want proof?  Watch “Dancing with the Stars”.   Mario is always the sweatiest. See? I rest my case. 

Relaxing at a friend’s house for a little house party before heading home, black people love that shit. 

Tellin’ Dey Kidz Bidness

Black people love telling all their kidz bidness and embarrasing them right in front of their aunties when company come over.  Do something embarrassing and everybody in your family gonna know, because your momma is on the phone flappin’ her lips talking about how cute you were when - well when you did something embarrasing. 

And when you protest she say, “Oh boy don’t worry ’bout that.  Ain’t nobody payin’ you no mind.”  Well, if they’re not, why is she telling it then? Then, the next time you have a family reunion (and the Lawd know, black people love their family reunions - but that’s another blog) your knucklehead cousin gone will be teasing you and making your life just miserable, right in front of your cute cousin you have a crush on. Damn her!  And there she is right now flapping her lips again.  Embellishing on the story.  Now everybody done turned around looking at you and laughing even harder!

Telling their kidz bidness.  Black people love that shit.