Tellin’ Dey Kidz Bidness

Black people love telling all their kidz bidness and embarrasing them right in front of their aunties when company come over.  Do something embarrassing and everybody in your family gonna know, because your momma is on the phone flappin’ her lips talking about how cute you were when - well when you did something embarrasing. 

And when you protest she say, “Oh boy don’t worry ’bout that.  Ain’t nobody payin’ you no mind.”  Well, if they’re not, why is she telling it then? Then, the next time you have a family reunion (and the Lawd know, black people love their family reunions - but that’s another blog) your knucklehead cousin gone will be teasing you and making your life just miserable, right in front of your cute cousin you have a crush on. Damn her!  And there she is right now flapping her lips again.  Embellishing on the story.  Now everybody done turned around looking at you and laughing even harder!

Telling their kidz bidness.  Black people love that shit.

Hollerin’ At Funerals

Black people love hollerin’ at funerals.  Ladies in white dresses and white gloves run about fanning black folk who can barely contain their grief.  There is always at least one person, nearly always a female, who suddenly jumps up, hollers, “Oh Lawd Bless Jesus!  Why did the Lawd have to take him from me so soon!  Why did the Lawd have to take June Bug!” This is accompanied by tears streaming down her face, hands thus up in the air, then brought down in front of her and shook.  Everybody watchout now, cause here she come down.  Somebody grab her big ass and ease her back down on her seat and straighten her wig out for her.  Also, there’s always someone manhandling the corpse crying and carrying on until somebody come to lead them back to their seat.  And last but not least, there’s always someone who flings themself into the grave, begging the lawd to take them, too! 

Personally, I think screamin’ and hollerin’ at a funeral is good for the soul and more folks other than black folks should try it, too.  When you’ve lost a loved one, decorum should fly out the window right along with your shoe when you kick your legs up in the air and flop out and roll around on the ground.  I say more hollerin’ at funerals, means less Prozac.   Yes, Lawd, hollerin’ at funerals.  Black people love that shit. 

On a Serious Tip: 

All too, unfortunately, often, it is a June Bug who has been taken away - in some gun related way:

BLACK ON BLACK CRIME STATISTICS

While African Americans comprise 12% of the U.S. population, 45% of all murder victims in 2002 were African American, 91% of whom were killed by African Americans. Nationally, homicide is the leading cause of death for black men and second leading cause of death for black women ages 15-24. There have been over 250 homicides reported over the last 5-6 years in Pulaski County. United States spends an average of over $4.5 billion on emergency and physical/occupational therapy associated with crime-related injuries/deaths.

Dey Baby Boys

Black women love their baby boys and their grandbaby boys. This is a good thing since apparently nobody else is liking little black boys who, of course grow up (if they live long enough) to become black men, at which point everybody, except black women, will be afraid of them.

Sisters (relations) also love baby boys since they are their brothers. Sisters will spoil their baby boy brother and basically dislike any heifer that has the audacity to think she can lure him away from the family fold.

Black women will visit their baby boys in jail and bring him food and anything else he wants. And they will give him a big welcome home party replete with a big banner that says, “Welcome Home June Bug” when he gets out of jail. They will take pictures of him in his jailhouse pose. You know the one - kneeling on one knee with his indexed finger under his chin, while he smiles seductively yet shyly at the camera. Why, you would think June Bug was back home after graduating from Princeton University - such a celebration it is.

Anyway, black women sure love them and will admonish them to “be good” out there in them streets, even as they reach down into their ample bosom to slip him a little money for his back pocket, because, after all, a man should always have a little money in his pocket.

On a Serious Tip:

US Department of Justice

Homicide Type by Race, 1976-2005

		Victims				Offenders
		White	Black	Other		White	Black	Other
	All homicides	50.9%	46.9%	2.1%		45.8%	52.2%	2.0%
Victim/offender relationship
	Intimate	56.6%	41.2%	2.2%		54.4%	43.4%	2.2%
	Family	60.7%	36.9%	2.4%		59.2%	38.5%	2.3%
	Infanticide	55.9%	41.6%	2.5%		55.4%	42.1%	2.5%
	Eldercide	69.2%	29.1%	1.6%		54.5%	43.8%	1.6%
Circumstances
	Felony murder	54.7%	42.7%	2.6%		39.1%	59.3%	1.6%
	Sex related	66.9%	30.5%	2.5%		54.7%	43.4%	1.9%
	Drug related	37.4%	61.6%	.9%		33.9%	65.0%	1.1%
	Gang related	57.5%	39.0%	3.5%		54.3%	41.2%	4.4%
	Argument	48.6%	49.3%	2.1%		46.8%	51.1%	2.2%
	Workplace	84.6%	12.2%	3.2%		70.5%	26.7%	2.8%
Weapon
	Gun homicide	47.2%	50.9%	1.9%		41.9%	56.4%	1.7%
	Arson	58.9%	38.1%	2.9%		55.7%	42.0%	2.3%
	Poison	80.6%	16.9%	2.5%		79.8%	18.4%	1.8%
Multiple victims or offenders
	Multiple victims	63.4%	33.2%	3.3%		55.7%	40.8%	3.5%
	Multiple offenders	54.8%	42.5%	2.7%		44.6%	53.0%	2.4%

Although slightly less true now than before, most murders are intraracial

From 1976 to 2005 –

• 86% of white victims were killed by whites
• 94% of black victims were killed by blacks

From the Black On Black Crime Coalition:

BLACK ON BLACK CRIME STATISTICS

While African Americans comprise 12% of the U.S. population, 45% of all murder victims in 2002 were African American, 91% of whom were killed by African Americans. Nationally, homicide is the leading cause of death for black men and second leading cause of death for black women ages 15-24. There have been over 250 homicides reported over the last 5-6 years in Pulaski County. United States spends an average of over $4.5 billion on emergency and physical/occupational therapy associated with crime-related injuries/deaths.