Stayin’ Black

Black people love staying black. Back in the day, you could even give black people a high five on the black hand side.  Black people don’t have to do nothing but stay black and die.  So you can kiss their ass - their black ass, as a matter of fact - if you don’t like it - especially their white bosses. 

Stayin’ black can be threatened and is a little risky, however.  If a black person is angry at another black person, they might just slap the black off them.  Oops, there goes your black!  Unruly black children might be threaten with having their black behinds beat to the point of having the tar beat out of them.  Back in the day you could be black as tar or black as pitch which is the same as tar.  You could also be as black as midnight, which would become your nickname.  Some black people, especially men, had skin like black velvet.  This also makes you a smoooth N’ or a slick N’.   Sometimes a black person could be so black they are Captain Midnight.  This caused peals of laughter. 

When a black woman is mad at a black man, he is a black bastard or a black asshole.   And she is going to kick his black ass or put her foot up his black ass.  If she is mad at another black woman, she is a black bitch.  She is also going to kick her black ass or put her foot all up in her black ass.  What usually precipitates this threat is messin’ with her black man.  Black women do not play that shit. 

A hungry black person could have a black attack.  This means you want to get down with something to eat.  You can only have a black attack for something like fried chicken, sweet potato pie, watermelon, or a fried fish sammich.

If you are black, chances are very high that you live in a black area and shop at the black mall.  The black mall used to be the white mall, but when black people from the black area started shopping there, it was soon the black mall.  The white are now going to another mall.  If black people start going to that mall, the white will find another mall.  White people move around a lot.  This is commonly referred to as white flight.

But, back to stayin’ black.  Back in the day, there were black and white cookies.  There was a black half and a white half.  This was about as close as blacks and whites ever got.  Also back in the day there was black power and black activists like the Black Panthers.  Black people were black and they were proud. They were so black and proud, James Brown made a song about it.  Black people wore big Afros to show how black and proud they were.  The bigger the Afro, the blacker and prouder you were.  This may be about the time when darkskinn-ded black men came into favor and a lightskinn-ded brother couldn’t get any play.  You gave a black handshape to show you were black and stayin’ black.  Black people also gave a black power salute to show solidarity with their black brothers and sisters.  Sometimes they flew the black, green, and red flag to honor the “Mother Land”.  If you wore a Dashiki, Afro, and talked about whitey and The Man all the time, then you had black pride.  When black people started moving out of the black area, they might be referred to as buppies (yuppies, but only black).  A spoiled black woman, might be a BAP (Black American Princess).  Both might be bourgeois-bourgeois.  Too uppity (bourgeosis) and you might get your black ass kicked or the black slapped off you.  Oops there goes your black!

Stayin’ black, black people love that shit. 

On a Serious Tip:  The Black Power Movement