Givin’ Dey Personal Opinion on TV

Black people love giving their personal opinion on TV about crime in their neighborhood.  Let something happen in their neighborhood and black people are clamoring to clown and mug for the camera and give eye-witness accounts about what they’ve seen.

This is the one event that black women do not sit in a beauty chair for 25 hours beautifyin’ herself before going before the camera.  Naw, she come out her house, hair nappy and stuck up at all angles, ashy, sleeveless blouse with her fat upper arms hanging out, and no bra, to make her local and national appearance on primetime TV just in time for the 6 o’clock news. 

She gives her account where the nation can see that perhaps she could use a little dental work and a few years more education.  This is done while the neighborhood kidz mug in the background.  I know white newsmen knock on doors until they find her to put her on television thereby embarrassing every other black folk right before they sit down to get their dinner.  There she is big as day, totally unembarrassed or self-aware getting her 15 minutes of fame.  Black people love that shit.

On a Serious Tip: 

Black crime is no joke. 

BLACK ON BLACK CRIME STATISTICS

While African Americans comprise 12% of the U.S. population, 45% of all murder victims in 2002 were African American, 91% of whom were killed by African Americans. Nationally, homicide is the leading cause of death for black men and second leading cause of death for black women ages 15-24. There have been over 250 homicides reported over the last 5-6 years in Pulaski County. United States spends an average of over $4.5 billion on emergency and physical/occupational therapy associated with crime-related injuries/deaths.

Bootlegs

Black people love them some bootlegs- DVDs, tapes, handbags - whatever.  If it’s a bootleg or a knockoff black people love it.  Go to any main street, Black USA, and you will have dozens of black guys hawking some raggedy knock-off shit and black people lining up to spend their hard earned dollars to buy some off-brand ragged messed up shit some guy on the street that they don’t even know what they getting until they get home and pop into their player.  

What other people on planet earth want to watch some raggedy-ass DVD?   When the whole point of ditching your VHS was that you could finally get some nice clarity in your movie-viewing experience?  Black people that’s who.  And then they love to brag about that shit.  Nearly, every other negro had a knock-off of “American Gangster”, stealing money out of Denzel’s pocket three weeks before the DVD was out. 

Yes, knock-offs are getting better quality, but why would you proudly display in your home with your kidz there some raggedy stolen shit, looking all funky and whatnot - black people that’s who.   They love that shit.

On A Serious Tip:

New York, the bootleg capital of the world is stiffening bootlegging laws

The Federal Anti-Piracy
and Bootleg FAQ

 Cracking Down On Bootleg Movies

Fish Sammiches

Black people love fish sammaches. A fish sammach is different from a sandwich ( /ˈsændwɪtʃ, ˈsæn-/ [sand-wich, san-] Pronunciation Key –noun
1.two or more slices of bread or the like with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc., between each pair.

A fish sammich is damned good, especially on a Friday or Saturday night. Black people get hungry a lot. Black people love to go to the local fish sammich shop to get something to eat. Black people especially love whiting or porgies for their fish sammiches. There is nothing like three or four pieces of steaming hot whiting fish between two slices of white bread and some hot sauce (black people’s gravy) or maybe some watered down catsup. Couple this with a 40 (40 oz. of beer) or, back in the day, Colt 45 or some Old English, and black people think they have died and gone to heaven.

You cannot say you are going to get you a fish sammich without about 25 black people wanting you to get them one too. Their momma will stick her head out the window and shout to get her one too. Black people are always broke when their momma is around. She don’t even bother to ask but reach down in her bosom and pull out some money to throw down. And get her one and your Auntie who is visting and gossiping with her? And see if they has one o’ them bean pies while you at it for your little rock head brother.

This is also a good method when sending her children to the store. She just stick her head out and holla down for Run-Run to get something for her from the store and then she write up a note and wrap it around the money and toss it out. This also evoke’s Run Run’s friends to cap on his momma - about how fat she is, usually.

Any black people will tell you that after a hard week of putting up with whitey there is nothing like a good fish sammich made up of whiting and an ice cold beer on a Friday night! Damn skippy! A good fish sammich. Black people, they love that shit.

On A Serious Tip:

Black Enterprise is big business: Black Enterprise.com

For the unitiated, Black Soul Food Recipes from BBQ Pig’s Feet to Fried Cabbage and Bacon